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January 31, 2006 | Writing
A couple of weeks ago, I was going to become a used car sales person. I’ve changed my mind, with all the uproar about James Frey and now, Nasdjii, I’m going to write nonfiction.
So, I guess I should come clean as to who I really am. I’ve shared this with my brazen vixens, but I’ll feel much better telling everyone. First, I’m not black. I’m white. I don’t live in the south suburbs of Chicago. I live in a gated community in Naperville, a northern suburb of Chicago. I’m not married, I don’t have any children. I bought the house in the south suburbs to give myself a more ethnic environment to write in, heavens knows there’s not much diversity where I really live. Sorry Sloane and Beth, I’ve been sending my black personal assistant, named Dorothy, to meet with you for the past couple of years. I pay her well, and she really likes the two of you. I look forward to meeting you some day soon. Oh, the pictures I sent you of my ‘husband and kids’? That’s Dorothy’s family. Right now, I’m in Italy, waiting for the Winter Olympics to begin. I am a writer, unpublished, but not for long. I just bought controlling interest in Harlequin and Random House, so I can publish any damn thing I want!
My first book, will be about growing up black and poor in the south. I had to overcome many difficulties, but I got my start in tv when I was nineteen years old. I was a reporter, and eventually I was hired to host, AM Chicago. I was overweight, but that didn’t stop me. My show topped Phil Donahue, and I starred in a movie. My show is now in syndication and I have several homes throughout the US. I’ve never forgotten my humble roots, and I reach out to my viewers everyday to better themselves.
Ok, so I’m not her, but hey who says I couldn’t write this story as nonfiction, but sell it as fiction? Apparently, that’s what Frey and Nasdjii have done. Although, I consider Nasdjii’s offense to be worse than Frey. To pretend to be of another race, to write a tale of woe, when in reality, nothing in your real life even resembles what you’ve written is insulting and demeaning. As we approach Black History month, I’m going to pull out the book, Black Like Me, and reread it. At least I know that story is real. Isn’t it?
I agree with you, Yasmine. Although it’s unconscionable to pass fiction off as non-fiction, to completely create a fictional persona AND pass fiction off as non-fiction seems to me to be the height of… I don’t even know what to call it!
I guess real life isn’t stranger than fiction so some have to make up their life.
I used to pretend I was the love child of royalty that was feuding. Their love couldn’t survive the potential of war between the two crowns and so they secreted their baby daughter (me) off to Canada where she was adopted by loving parents. One day with times are so violent between the two crowns they’ll reclaim their daughter. Then I’d meet a prince, fall in love and become Queen (yes I realize the idea of me ruling a country freaks some of ou out but this is my daydream.)
Yeah – I out grew that story when I was 12. Now I know the truth at 32. Yeah the 12 year old story was awesome but I knew enough to realize it was imagination and so I let it go!! Just cuz it’s in my head doesn’t make it so.
Sherill and Jenna, you’re so right. But, then I consider them sellouts. They want to be published, make a lot of money, so whatever they have to do – is worth it. Payback, they forget.
Yeah. The only reason why I want to show up on Larry King is because I am fantabulous.
And on Oprah because I have issues and was arrested for stalking Vin Diesel and she wants to know how this erotic romance writer managed to break into his house and live unnoticed in his closet with the glow of my laptop to keep my company when he’s away filming and I live in his t-shirts which will smell divine. I have dreams…big dreams. Aren’t you proud of me?
Yasmine: I’m gearing up for the Olympics, planning to watch Shani Davis from up your way. I’ve got high hopes for him.
Every time I hear about a fraud, I try to replace the memory with a positive one. Davis’ story is the one I’m planning to replace those creeps with.